Trying to learn the art of cold email and closing the deal - any recommendations?

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I've had quite a bit of success with SEO, but I feel like I have let some clients slip through my fingers due to my inability to close the deal. In hindsight, I also feel like my approach with cold and semi-warm leads has scared off some businesses that probably would have become clients if my approach/copy was better.

My problem? Everything I write tends to come out sounding like a sales pitch. I try like crazy, but the final product almost always seems "salesy". Over the last few months, I have been reading a lot about selling to people without sounding like you are selling to them, and have been experimenting with some cold email templates with improved (but still very weak) results.

Any recommendations? Tips from a website, copywriter, etc. that got you over the hump and helped you become a lot more successful? Is there a cold email template (or templates) that has helped you convert more clients?

I'm not starving, but I'm not killing it either. Just trying to gather some nuggets of knowledge from those here that get it, and are willing to share.
 
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I wrote this post for Invision about selling through stories/understanding client's stories and that element of the 'sales process':

https://www.invisionapp.com/blog/tell-better-stories/

It's not cold outreach but for your 'semi warm' ones this kind of 'more collaborative' and 'less sales' approach often converts really well. And if nothing else thinking this way should help the way your communications turn out - you won't be trying to close every other sentence when it's too early in the discussion.
 
One thing to understand is who you're dealing with.

Marketing department, CEO, webmaster?

Each have a different mindset. If you're hard selling to your average webmaster/technical dude, many times they're going to see you be "Chad Dudebro" and tune out. I've had good success investing a bit more. What are you offering, have you made the groundwork, checked their site, done research on which keywords they want to rank for, who is their competitor, can you play off their jealousy towards a market leader etc. It's like applying for a job basically, you need to show you can get in their head, identify what they need, not want you want.
 
Hey bro.

- Take into account all the previous GOLDEN answers you already got.
- Re-read what you just wrote. Templates and templates are what your leads get in their inboxes?
- Just before writing or talking with 'em, try to mentally (and honestly) focus on your lead's hopes, wants, and needs... How can you better SERVE them?... Let this feeling exhude from your writing.
- Compare your previous templates with this freshly written cold email.
 
What role do phone calls play in your strategy? Are you opening with cold emails and then setting up phone calls / in-person meetings, or are you trying to close the entire deal over email? Have you tested cold calling vs. cold emailing? If you're a reasonably personable... person, a cold call can lower shields way more than even the best cold email.
 
I would be careful if you are operating within Europe. New GDPR rules warn against cold emailing, especially for commercial purposes - that's the same whethe you're emailling businesses or individuals

If you are going to go down this route. make sure you have an easy and obvious opt-out link, and accurate sender field, a relevant subject line, a legitimate physical address listed, as well as a phone number.
 
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