You're doing marketing wrong

[emp]

OK, so there are these Swiss guys selling toilet paper.

25 sheets + cleaning solution + balm for your butt.

110$

Oh yeah, let that sink in. 110$ for 25 pieces of toilet paper.

But emp, sure no one is buying this, right?
Wrong.

Several hotels already are. The "Park Hyatt" in Zurich, the "Alpina" in Gstaad and the "Four Seasons" in Geneva. Next up is a hotel at the Côte D'Azur next spring.

The name?
Joseph's toiletries

The website is impeccable. If you want to know how to do luxury marketing, take a look.

The slogan

The copy - mind you, we are talking about wiping your butt.

The product presentation

Seriously, look at their product page.
Study it, take notes. And remember: This is flushable toilet paper.

The prices...
Apart from the price of the asswipes -

Those stands are not included, nonono... they start at 600, topping out at 1300.

Study this, as I know of this because it was mentioned in the NEWS today.

Study this, because some people successfully sell 25 sheets of toilet paper for 110 Swiss francs

::emp::

 

[eliquid]

Where does the balm go?

On the butt, or in the butt ( crack )?

 

[TacoCat]

Where does the balm go?

On the butt, or in the butt ( crack )?

You put it on the super advanced toilet paper and wipe your glorious but.

and then you get admirers like this:

 

[Ryuzaki]

Could you imagine over-using the balm and losing all friction between your cheeks? I'd fall over within 3 steps away from the toilet.

The copywriting across the entire site is ridiculously good. I'd love to know who wrote it and how much it costed.

 

[built]

Just placed an order, had enough of the primitive toilet paper

 

[CCarter]

... what is wrong with you savages across the pond - this is what a bidet is for:

damn savages...

 

[turtle]

Are there any coupon codes available?

 

[emp]

... what is wrong with you savages across the pond - this is what a bidet is for:
damn savages...

LOL so hard

Just wikipedia (highlights mine):

"The bidet appears to have been an invention of French furniture makers in the late 17th century, although no exact date or inventor is known.[7][8] The earliest written reference to the bidet is in 1710 in Italy."

"Bidets are common bathroom fixtures in many southern European countries, especially Italy, where they are found in 97% of households (the installation of a bidet in a bathroom has been mandatory since 1975[4]), ..... they are rare in North America."

But I am just pulling your leg.

We actually did some research.

Turns out that 20 sheets of gold are about 5$. You can wipe your butt with gold for less than this.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=2253014322&pf_rd_i=desktop

::emp::

 

[Golan]

First world problems. F* it. In Soviet Union, we used to wipe our butts with torn newspapers.

Cuz there was no toilet paper. It was huge deficit.

To see a person proudly walking like this ^^ was an usual scene in our towns back then, and such a lucky man used to be an object of tangy envy from everybody around.

F* it.