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Regardless if any of that is true, I'd allow myself to "play" for the first time with no pressure. I'd start a micro-niche site that is small and contained in terms of scope so it doesn't feel overwhelming and can actually end. I'd go through the whole process of building a small brand, designing a site, writing content, building links, and then selling it. All the way through to liquidation with no pressure, but serious work.
@klix This is fucking good advice, take it.