How much do you give your significant other?

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I assume....
Most here are the breadwinner of the house.
I've been the 'higher earner' in every relationship I've had in life. And i've been LIVING a free lifestyle since self-employed ........ many of times which I was 'too free'.

My question.

Do you all give your significant other money?

Do you organize that type of spending?

Or do you give nothing and tell them earn themselves
 
Last edited:
Oh boy -

As a married man, I can see this thread being a dozy.

I don't "give" a set amount of money to anyone in my family on any schedule. Meaning.. "here's $500 to do what you want". I don't do that.

Basically, I pay the bills ( typically I pay them 12 months upfront so i don't have to deal with it ) and then my debit card is available to be used by my wife as needed for the family every day.

Meaning, when she goes out to take the kids to the tutor or goes to the store.. she takes the debit card with her and spends what's needed for that task and anything else along the way.

So she might take the kids to the tutor and along the way she gets:
  • gas
  • a starbucks drink
  • lunch for kids
  • stops in a book store, gets 2 books for herself
  • pays tutor
  • buys dinner
  • buys me a starbucks ( im at home )
  • stops in a drug store and picks up a few things like dog food and such
  • buys herself something at some other place like a tshirt or gets her nails done
You have to be able to trust someone to have free will like that. Why else get married if you didn't?, right?

There are times I might see a ton of bags brought home and ask what the total was spent so I can do some quick math, but other than that nothing else changes.

So no lump sum given, but she has access to all the money any time.

.
 
eliquid said:
Oh boy -

As a married man, I can see this thread being a dozy.

I don't "give" a set amount of money to anyone in my family on any schedule. Meaning.. "here's $500 to do what you want". I don't do that.

Basically, I pay the bills ( typically I pay them 12 months upfront so i don't have to deal with it ) and then my debit card is available to be used by my wife as needed for the family every day.

Meaning, when she goes out to take the kids to the tutor or goes to the store.. she takes the debit card with her and spends what's needed for that task and anything else along the way.

So she might take the kids to the tutor and along the way she gets:
  • gas
  • a starbucks drink
  • lunch for kids
  • stops in a book store, gets 2 books for herself
  • pays tutor
  • buys dinner
  • buys me a starbucks ( im at home )
  • stops in a drug store and picks up a few things like dog food and such
  • buys herself something at some other place like a tshirt or gets her nails done
You have to be able to trust someone to have free will like that. Why else get married if you didn't?, right?

There are times I might see a ton of bags brought home and ask what the total was spent so I can do some quick math, but other than that nothing else changes.

So no lump sum given, but she has access to all the money any time.
Click to expand...


How long did it take to get to that point? And where were you financially when you met?
 
We both work. Sometimes she earned more. Sometimes I have. Sometimes she took time off to get some more qualifications. Sometimes I spent a few months working on stuff that didn't bring in anything. She runs her life 'business' the way she wants to, with control of her income and expenditure. So do I. And at the end it all ends up in the same pot.

We own stuff together. We have money together. We live together.

(In answer to your second question, we were both working independent of each other when we got together.)
 
Calamari said:
Are you asking how much money you should give your girlfriend? If so, nothing. You shouldn't have to support a girlfriend with regular handouts.

If you're asking how finances work for married couples, @eliquid has a setup similar to mine.
Click to expand...

Interesting. I'm not married yet.
I was just wondering who did this before marriage .
So all of this started , after marriage.

I just wondered the opinion of people who've had similar spending brackets... If they had similar experiences.
 
This is more like my marriage:

thumb_math-made-simple.png
 
My wife is the current high earner, but we both have income coming. Most of our money goes into a joint account which is used for bills, retirement, eating out,day to day things, necessities, etc.

We each get a monthly allowance which goes into an individual account. This money we get to use however we want, no questions asked. If she wants to go buy a stupid expensive purse or jewelry, she saves until she can afford it. If I want to take a"boys trip" I use my account.
 
I don't give money to girlfriends or wives. I do buy or share drinks and food and other things.
I do pay the housecleaner though.

GoogleNewsLinks said:
...... many of times which I was 'too free'.
Click to expand...
Yes some people don't like freedom and seem to like a semi slave status.
 
Erayz said:
I don't give money to girlfriends or wives. I do buy or share drinks and food and other things.
I do pay the housecleaner though.


Yes some people don't like freedom and seem to like a semi slave status.
Click to expand...

I just realized balance is good.

Sometimes I act sorta Tarzan'ish ... when i need to be more Indiana Jones'ish
 
Hmmm .. "giving" here is kinda weird.

While we are both working in managerial positions, I always made more money than she did.
BUT we always had times when one of us was unemployed.

We don't distinguish who brings in what. We use 3 accounts and budgeting.

1 MAIN account
All the money earned flows in here, all bills are paid from here

2 My account
3 Her account

Her and I have an account that gets a set amount of money each month (also the same for both).
The idea here is

  • That is MY money and HER money. Spend it however you want.
Ever sat by when a friend had to argue for a purchase, or a colleague hid his newest toy from his spouse?​
No, nope, not on my watch.​

  • Even if I would blow it all on hookers and blow, all expenses are still paid.
Edit: Basically, what JasonSC does, too.
 
I'm in the same boat as most in this thread, as soon as I married my wife we opened a joint account and all money goes in there.

Before we were married we were together for 6 years, and over time we gradually started just splitting everything down the middle when it came to purchases. It would have made more sense to open a joint account sooner, but I guess you only think of these things after you are married.
 
I'm married but we don't have joint accounts.

We sort of split costs as they come, but don't worry about it. She has a job and gets a paycheck every month, I don't take a salary, but take out dividends every year like $xxx,xxx lump sums. We have my money and her money -- but don't worry about "since I pay rent you pay this", or who's paying for dinner out. I don't think we've ever fought about money.

It just sorts itself, and we both have too much money in the end so who cares. When we met I was a student at university and she was finished with her studies and working (she's smarter than I, so she needed fewer years studying hehe).

We own a house and don't have kids, cars or other expensive stuff. We travel a bit and I probably buy 5 clothing items per year, so not much expenses beyond normal things like utilities and food.
 
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