Dec 31, 2016
I'm in constant pain, have very little family support and until recently was dirt poor.

I was definitely depressed, but I can only see it now in retrospect.

What changed? Some old friends invited me out for dinner and beer. That's it. Was as simple as that. Led to me going home thinking "what the f.. you been doing Bernard, snap out of it!". Then I began posting here. CC is right about that. We NEED that social interaction, particularly those of us who actually can go without for longer than most.

Second, fresh air, sun, water, that's also a need and very healing. I like to go fishing, it's very terapeutic. Just sit and look over the water and feel the elements. Very primal, goes right into that hunter-gatherer brain. Could be something else. Not a fan of running and such, but long walks are nice too.

Third, existential angst, which I found to go with depression, comes with not living according to your values. If you consistently do stuff which you don't like to do or feel shameful about doing, then stop doing it. Stop smoking or whatever. Stop being passive agressive. Stop self sabotiaging. I found that I needed to say "NO" a lot more. Just say no, to people. Do things you actually want to do. Be at ease with yourself.

Lastly, money troubles is BY FAR, the biggest driver of stress. I don't know when it became cool to be destitute, maybe to make people forget their declining purchasing power. Well, to me, having no money, and thus no ability to act, is a HUGE stress factor. Save up enough money to be able to "flee" to a hotel if shit hits the fan for some reason. Never be in a position where you're at the mercy of strangers.


1) Connect with friends and strangers
2) Go outside and feel the elements
3) Start living according to your values
4) Solve money troubles and have a nest egg


BuSo Pro
Jan 4, 2016
5) If none of the above works, seek treatment from a mental health professional.


Oct 2, 2017
What @CCarter mentioned before about his depression is similar to my experience. There was a time in my life where my then-GF and I lived together and I felt miserable, binge-watching too much YT. I felt suffocated because I had nulled my personality while I lived in that country.

Just to expand on what he said and apply it to my own situation, last year I was lost. As I now know and understand, I had no balance in life.

Here's a personal anecdote: 25 years ago, young-me practiced kung fu. My sifu has recently started an YT channel. In one of his videos, he has mentioned three concepts about past, present, and future:
  • Too much past brings depression,
  • Too much present brings stress, and
  • Too much future brings anxiety.
I have made peace with my past - I can't change it. Beating myself up won't help things, but I certainly can extract lessons from it.

One challenge that helped me stop the inner dialogue of constant negative self-talk was my decision to stop complaining - about life, politics, the news, and most of all, about other people and myself.

The amount of energy and time I have released was unbelievable. I became more creative, relaxed, productive, fulfilled. I still have many issues in my life, mostly money-related, but that's a matter of finding the right opportunity and working smart to make it happen. I'm not (too much) concerned with it.

My present currently presents me with a great deal of stress. I have some debt (around € 290 k) which causes most of my current hair loss (LOL) but these are money issues, and they can only be solved with money. So stressing over them will not solve them, and this is how I deal with it on a daily basis.

I am also thankful for all the things I have right now, which helps be balance my stress. I am in damn good health, and working towards being in shape. I'm also thankful for my life experiences - I speak 4 languages and understand a 5th, I have a master's degree, I have studied in 4 countries and lived in 8. I have a few good friends and a big family.

My biggest challenge is my future. My expectations for solving the money issues (that I am mentioning for the 3rd time already) bring me a lot of anxiety because I keep making plans and projects, and time can't pass fast enough until all the stars are properly aligned and I finally set myself free.

I have always day-dreamed. I have a highly developed inner-dialogue. (This is also why I have had problems dealing with my past in the past, and why I have released energy in the last year or so.) I quite saw myself in what @TacoGuy said about talking too much and doing nothing.

Channeling my inner-dialogue into productive creativity has been the biggest challenge of my life, as well as my current priority. I am getting more focused, I am setting goals, and I have been working as hard as I can while juggling the daily life as well.


My father passed away last October. After a couple of months of working many hours a day, my mother has invited me to join her in her daily morning walks. At first we'd walk 30 minutes, now we are walking 45. Not only we get to breathe fresh air, we also get some sun (and produce some vit D too - no supplement needed).

It's been great.

First of all, it's helped both of us to deal with and overcome our grief, our anger/frustration (my father passed away ONE DAY before he'd be admitted to the hospital for his CLL treatment), everything.

I mention my mother because I am living a very "family" moment in my life - involving mother, grandparents, and a large extended family. It's been rewarding, inspiring, uplifting, many things.


I also agree with @CCarter that you can't rely on walking sticks such as supplements, stimulants, depressants, exercise routines, women. Just as much as you can't outsource your treatment to someone else.

I mean, you probably could, but would you be really overcoming your underlying issues?

What helped me was to think about the root causes of everything. I reflected upon (and still think about) all the things I mentioned in this post. I also talk about all these things with my mother in our daily walks.

From what I read about them, shrooms can help with all that. I most certainly believe that professional help can help as well. But expecting that you will find a magic pill is just putting an artificial obstacle for your own cure.

There are things that you can do, and things you must do. But the solution already lies within yourself. You still gotta do the bulk of the work yourself. Or, as a former colleague of my old man used to say, "you gotta dig through the bad shit in order to find the good shit."

I hope some of what I said helps you as it's helped me. Cheers,
Nov 19, 2014
Do you guys see the resemblance that we all have in this thread?

I've been through every single one of these issues mentioned, and have been working on self experimentation for the past two years to improve quality of life.

The one thing we all have in common, is leading excessive indoor blue lit lives. These glorious internet businesses that give us the freedom we've always wanted, are also the curse of poor health from what I've found so far.

From staring at screens that eventually warp brain perception, sitting 12 hours a day - poor posture/blood flow for hours on end, to the lack of melatonin production that totally fucks up your circadian rhythm, it's not the best combo.

I don't have any quick tidbits to add without typing an entire novel of ideas on this, but if you've never experimented with building an outdoor office with a treadmill desk, it might really help you.

Sounds stupid, but combining natural light during screen time with movement, reduces these issues over time. (windows block portions of UV wavelengths)


King of Turd Mountain
Sep 8, 2015
Oh shit.. glad you recovered. Already got blood / test checked so that is not the problem. You mentioned CBD pills, how much mg of CBD did you take per day?
I take a 20 mg softgell per day. I took it for about 5 months, then stopped for a couple months and could totally tell the difference. It's just part of my daily vitamin regimen at this point. It's a bit pricey at around $1 per pill, but the supplier is in the US, test their products in-house for quality control, USDA certified organic, and has nothing but good reviews online. If you know anything about the CDB industry, there's a ton of fake shit out there. The website is sunsoil.com.