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This sort of topic might be a better fit for reddit or something, but I think you guys will have a better understanding of what I'm going through.
This post may also end up being a bit long. There may also be NSFW topics mentioned.
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When I was about 10 I began to subconsciously realize that I wasn't going to be compatible with working a traditional job. I began playing around with selling stuff on eBay, which brought in some pocket money.
I still studied hard in school and went to university as a sort of backup plan, in case I couldn't build something of my own. The former was a waste of time, the latter was a waste of time and money.
I was always shy/introverted, and was homeschooled through high school because I couldn't cope with it. I wasn't bullied in particular or anything, just found school extremely overwhelming. Although I didn't find university overwhelming, I didn't engage in any of the sort of stuff you're supposed to do at university/college, I just went to classes. I don't drink at all, so I didn't socialize through parties or anything like that.
With the spare time I had, I learned about this game and built a few websites from the age of 17 to 22 (where I am now). I now live off them.
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During these five years of building, I never struggled with burnout or anything like that. I love these projects, and find them really fulfilling to grow.
This year though I've been going through a quarter-life crisis of immense proportions. I've adopted this sort of "you're only young once" attitude, and have been doing things that I've always wanted to do (or thought I did) with the income I currently have available. My reasoning is I haven't really lived much, especially from the ages of 17-22, because of all the time I spent working.
I'm still keeping fit as I've always done, and I cook/eat healthy the majority of the time. This isn't affecting me physically, yet, fortunately. However I'm struggling to get out of bed sometimes, unless I have something specific to do.
It's probably worth noting that I have a few friends I go and do stuff with, or play video games with a couple nights a week. The thing is they have normal lives and can't do stuff like traveling to Europe with me, for example.
It feels like I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place with my introversion and desire to do more stuff. I feel like not drinking holds me back quite a bit, but I really don't want to pick up this habit because alcoholism has fucked up quite a few of my family members.
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Solutions
The non-mutually-exclusive list of things I can think of doing to overcome this:
This post may also end up being a bit long. There may also be NSFW topics mentioned.
---
When I was about 10 I began to subconsciously realize that I wasn't going to be compatible with working a traditional job. I began playing around with selling stuff on eBay, which brought in some pocket money.
I still studied hard in school and went to university as a sort of backup plan, in case I couldn't build something of my own. The former was a waste of time, the latter was a waste of time and money.
I was always shy/introverted, and was homeschooled through high school because I couldn't cope with it. I wasn't bullied in particular or anything, just found school extremely overwhelming. Although I didn't find university overwhelming, I didn't engage in any of the sort of stuff you're supposed to do at university/college, I just went to classes. I don't drink at all, so I didn't socialize through parties or anything like that.
With the spare time I had, I learned about this game and built a few websites from the age of 17 to 22 (where I am now). I now live off them.
---
During these five years of building, I never struggled with burnout or anything like that. I love these projects, and find them really fulfilling to grow.
This year though I've been going through a quarter-life crisis of immense proportions. I've adopted this sort of "you're only young once" attitude, and have been doing things that I've always wanted to do (or thought I did) with the income I currently have available. My reasoning is I haven't really lived much, especially from the ages of 17-22, because of all the time I spent working.
- I moved out of my parents' place. At first I thought this was amazing, and I was being more productive, and wouldn't have to worry about working late into the night disturbing people. But I think living alone is driving me nuts after just a few months or so.
- I bought this particular car I've always wanted, and I'm trying to teach myself how to work on it.
- I've done a bit of traveling, with more planned. I find that traveling alone feels extremely weird. I'm not really one to go out of my way to interact with locals, especially if I don't speak the language, due to introversion. So I end up sort of floating through places.
- I saw a sex worker. My feelings on this are quite mixed. She was amazing and I don't regret it, but I find myself thinking about her still, which can't be healthy.
I'm still keeping fit as I've always done, and I cook/eat healthy the majority of the time. This isn't affecting me physically, yet, fortunately. However I'm struggling to get out of bed sometimes, unless I have something specific to do.
It's probably worth noting that I have a few friends I go and do stuff with, or play video games with a couple nights a week. The thing is they have normal lives and can't do stuff like traveling to Europe with me, for example.
It feels like I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place with my introversion and desire to do more stuff. I feel like not drinking holds me back quite a bit, but I really don't want to pick up this habit because alcoholism has fucked up quite a few of my family members.
---
Solutions
The non-mutually-exclusive list of things I can think of doing to overcome this:
- Therapy
- Doing more stuff that forces me to interact with people in the real world. The problem I have here is my interests are quite limited, due to the emotional and time investment I've put into building websites over the past five years. I'd basically be throwing darts at a wall to try and choose something new to do - I'm having trouble finding things that really appeal to me
- Trying to increase my workload, by doing something like starting another new site. I feel like this might not work unless I fix my motivation problem first.
- Moving back in with parents
- Dating apps. Not really something I want to spend a lot of time on, feels like meeting someone interesting with this approach would be a needle/haystack type situation, although I could be completely wrong.