I've got a question about Life.

Discussion in 'Garden' started by HeyoDeafMan, Apr 11, 2017.

  1. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    So I'm brand new to BuSo as of today

    Edit: Just realized that this is in the wrong section of the forums. Don't know how to delete, so sorry!!

    [​IMG]

    And I have a question about life. My life specifically. I'm 23, and this past year and half I've lived in four different states. I came back to find that all of my friends have had kids, or died, or became drunks and druggies. I'm not about that.

    Right now, I'm basically nonexistent. I'm chilling in my mom's basement (albeit a VERY nice basement) with $800 in the bank, $3.8k college debt (loan payment starting August), no friends, no attachments, and in general no life. I realized that this is perfect :D It's perfect for chasing after my dreams without fear of failure or fear of anything.

    So my question is this: Any tips to help prevent me from degenerating into a useless piece of shit?

    I've currently lost about 20 lb of muscle, gained 5 lb of fat (maybe more. I hope not), and find myself feeling down at times. The only times I really get out of the house is for Pokemon Go, and to go to the occasional movie when I just can't handle being in the house anymore. I've been addicted to gaming, but I'm in the process of breaking that habit (Fuck you, League of Legends).

    I'm determined to see this through, to become a mastermind at this. But I know that in order for me to have a shot at being successful in my professional life, I need to be successful with my personal life.

    Whatever advice you guys have would be much appreciated!
     
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  2. Jitsiereveld

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    Jitsiereveld I'm just going to listen and learn today...

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    My first suggestion would be to go through the Crash Course if you haven't had a chance to look around much. After you've had a chance to become familiar with things, set some goals and stay motivated to complete them. I'm sure you'll find much more advice from the forums and others responses to this thread.

    When I need a mental break, I'll play a quick match of LOL, then come back to it or start my next task that I need to complete.

    Searching the forums can help get to your solutions, but don't be afraid to ask a question either.

    Hope that helps,
     
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  3. Michael

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    Michael

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    I don't know your situation, but my advice would be to not isolate yourself so much.

    I'm not saying you have to "meet up with the boys" every few days. But see and talk with another human outside your house every now and then.

    If you're in mumas basement everyday grinding that's great. But before you know it you will start to loose social skills and maybe even confidence. Find the balance.

    You say you don't want to turn into a sack of shit? Are you talking about your mind and appearance?

    Well that's simple. Get your ass out of the house and exercise for 30 minutes a day. It will help when you feel down at times as you said.

    Feeling down at times can often lead into feeling down all the time. Been there trust me. Incorporate 10 to 20 minutes of meditation into your day so you don't turn into a depressed sack of shit. Again, speaking from experience.


    Exercise (dopamine & endorphins) + meditation (degrading old cunt neural pathways that make us feel shit and building new legitimate onrs) is a recepie for total human domination. Happy feel good chemicals and training your brain to become present. That's where it's at.
     
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  4. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    I'm planning on setting up a journal here on BuSo as soon as I figure out exactly what vertical and niche I want to do. I think that'll definitely help.


    I'll see if there aren't any good volunteering opportunities or something. Balance is something my parents have mentioned to me a few times, so I'll try and keep that in mind. As far as turning into a sack of shit, you nailed it. I remember one time working out and I was so sore I couldn't hardly move the next day, but I felt like fucking superman. I don't know why I didn't keep that up. I've only got about $800 in the bank, but I might sign up for a gym membership somewhere. Figure that might be a worthy expense

    I'll incorporate some of your tips into my life. I've never actually meditated. Closest I get I guess is sitting in a hot shower just thinking. Not sure if that qualifies. Any good links or suggestions on how to get into that?
     
  5. Michael

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    Michael

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    Screw the gym membership for now. Consider it when you have cash flow IMO. Barbell + dumbbells you're set.

    Sorry to say, but that was far from it. It's actually the complete opposite to what you're doing in the shower (shit that sounds wrong).

    Seeing as you love to read, here's one book I recommend to a lot of people. I think there might even be a newer version of that book too.

    For apps, I use this. Although I haven't used it in a while because I tend to just do it un-guided nowadays, it's the perfect app for noobs, and even pros. Free too.

    --

    One very simple technique you can try right away is this - deep breathing.

    Sit up on a chair that keeps your back straight, no slouching, no leaning forward, arms and legs uncrossed.

    Take a big deep breath, and count 1. Exhale, and count 2. Once you get to 10, go back to 1. If you make it to 10 without loosing count / having your mind take a walk down town, you're doing good.

    The idea is to keep your concentration on your breath, which is about the only thing that resembles mindfulness (living in reality, not in your head).

    If your mind does wander, take note of where it wandered too. Old memory, planning for the future, whatever it is, picture it as a cloud. What do clouds do? They appear in front of us, then they pass by, then a new cloud comes in and takes its place. And that's what our thoughts are, useless shit that pops into our head. That's why you need to treat them as clouds, or any other similar metaphor, because they will pass by, ONLY if you allow them to.

    If you ever get into that dark place, feel free to pm me. Had my fair share of shit times over the past decade and more, but happy to say I am no longer a slave to my own mind.
     
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  6. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    Hahaha, it may sound weird, but we've got a double head shower that rains on a seat jutting from the wall. Pretty relaxing, won't lie.

    I'll give the book and the app a looksee. I'll give that meditation thing a go. It sounds very interesting and helpful. I'll also be sure to PM you if I ever get to a point where I need to talk to somebody. Thanks for all the help!

    I'm currently working on going to bed earlier (round 10:30) and waking up round 5:30-6:30. It seems like mornings are better in terms of productivity
     
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  7. Trankuility

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    Trankuility Breathe the body deep

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    I hear ya. Been in similar situations when I was younger. Actually, went through it over and over because I kept falling into the same mental traps. One of the best things I ever did for myself was to create a plan and schedule based on my strengths and weaknesses. This was hard. I was so used to being positive and being the person that could always makes things happen...mind over matter, fuck yeah, I can do anything.

    That mindset would constantly lead me to trying to overcome and beat my weaknesses. To change for the better. Growth is good, of course. But I finally realized that it would take x amount of weeks/months/years to become the type of person that could do xx. That time would be much better spent on compounding my strengths.

    So my advice is to be as honest as possibly with yourself. Don't fight your weaknesses. Go with with them. Let them be. Then put everything on your strengths and push forward. Blast through that shit.

    I've said it a couple times on this forum, but in end of 2014 I sold 95% of my stuff, moved out of my apartment, and back in with my parents. I slept in my 8 year old brothers bed for a year. This allowed me to save up money (instead of paying for rent) and put it all into my website. On Jan 1 2016 I moved out of there and lived in my car for 3 weeks. Then started living in the storage closet at work (my boss doesn't know, hah). I've been living in the storage closet ever since.

    I don't do shit. I rarely go out (I used to go out all the time. Party, girls, video games - I LOVED the Battlefiled series). I see my family once a month, and chill with a buddy once a month. I work on my site 6 - 12 hours a day, usually 7 days a week. I do this in addition to having a full time 40 hours a week day job.

    This is what I HAD to do. This was due to know my own weaknesses and strengths. Yours will differ of course. But figure out what works for you based on YOUR strengths/weakness. Then go full throttle. You obviously have the intelligence to do it, and sounds like you have the grit. So get it.

    As a sidenote, in about 6 months, perhaps sooner, I'll be quitting my day job and doing IM fulltime. So things are going well.
     
  8. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    Wow.... what in the seven hells? Dude, that's a whole other level of grit, and I totally admire you for that. But I have so many questions. First of all, why did you not end up staying with your parents? Wouldn't that be easier than living in the storage closet? Hope you don't mind me asking that.

    Also, it sounds like you started end of 2014. It's taken you two years and some change to make full time income from IM? I'm just curious, does it normally take that long to go fulltime on IM? I thought it'd be closer to a year.

    Third question, how do you stay motivated? Between the rough living situation, the lack of "doing stuff" like you said, and it sounds like sleep deprivation (8 hours + 12 hour IM work hours), how do you keep hustling?

    But congrats on the success bro. You're the kind of guy that I love to read stories about
     
  9. Concept

    Concept

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    Some awesome feedback here.

    Here what I can see can you can do outside of work to help you stay productive, healthy and avoid degenerating into a useless piece of shit :wink:

    Some other things for after you’ve finished taking action around your business:
    • Don’t think about work - mediation is good. Find something that forces you to take your mind off work and relax.
    • Fulfil your non-work related desires - sitting on Facebook isn't fullfilling and you can other do things rather than watch TV that can be more enjoyable. If you work at home, go out and connect with family and friends. If you are stuck inside the whole day, get outside - I like going for walks in my local national park, or going to BJJ practice. I've recently gotten into yoga.
    • Eliminate distracting substances - shitty food, alcohol, smoking, and drugs can impact general health and wellbeing which in turn affects productivity.
    • Get away from your dedicated workspace - for me it's closing the door to the home office if I'm not working. If I'm still in work mode, I get out of the house entirely. These days I mainly work in a coworking space. Once I'm home, I'm home.
    • Exercise - general health and wellbeing affect productivity. Also, exercise gives you a lot more energy long term.
    • Sleep - I cannot stress how important this is.
    Now many people starting up their own business will put a lot of time into their business, and avoid a life outside of work because it takes up time.

    However, I'm a believer that you need to rest and recuperate in order to be on your A-Game. You just need to be smart about it.

    How I do this is I try and "kill 2 birds with 1 stone".

    For example, I do Brazillian Jui Jitsu. I will do this 2-3 time a week from 7pm-9pm and maybe 3pm-5pm on a Saturday. These are my "low-productivity times" so getting out and re-energising myself is time well spent. BJJ ticks off a number of boxes:
    1. It keeps me fit and healthy. I have more energy and better concentration when I'm regularly active. I feel happier too.
    2. It get's me out of the house and social with people. Working for yourself can get lonely. This gives me my hit of people. As an extrovert it also reenergizes me
    3. I can't think about work. I can't check emails. If I'm rolling (sparring) with someone and start thinking about work, I'll get choked out pretty quick. It's almost meditative like that. :wink:
    4. It encourages me to eat healthy and keep hydrated. If I've had 5 cups of coffee and eaten crappy food that day or the night before, I will feel it. It is not pleasant.
    5. I'll sleep like a baby that night after training :wink:
    Essentially BJJ for me is a massive ROI for only 4-6 hours a week.

    My point is, create effect structures around your life outside of work. If you focus on the 6 points I made above, and find something that can fulfill on multiple needs at once then you will be on the right track.
     
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  10. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    Thanks for the input. For the journal I make in the next day or two, I'm going to make it full-scale, not just about the business, but my life in general. I'm going to see if I can't work everybody's advice here into it, that way my life improves!

    I already know that I need to fix my eating habits, slow down on the Coca-Cola, and get back into working out every day. I used to be clean repping 300-500 pull ups, 1k pushups, 500 dips and squats a day. I was doing cool stuff like super man dips, levers, etc. Now I'm back down to around 50 pull ups max. I definitely need to work my way back up.

    I did get a zoo membership, so I may go out and do that just to get out of the house. Unfortunately, I still need to figure out how to get the "social interaction," make friends and all that. To be honest, I'm not all that sure on how to go about doing that ever since graduating college.
     
  11. Michael

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    Michael

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    Gaming cafes are literally riddled with LoL/Dota players. Why not go to a local gaming cafe and say g'day to some other geeks? Or join a sport club. Join a book club even, seeing as you love to read. Or craigslist? Kidding, but all you gotta do is leverage your passions/hobbies and find other like minded people.
     
  12. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    I live in a relatively small City, so there's no gaming cafes or anything of that sort. Besides, league is kinda cancer to my life Gaming in general is rough for me since I get addicted to it so easily. Book or sport clubs maybe, I'll have to check into it! Maybe on Meetup I'll find something. Today I'm going to try and write-up a start to a journal on both IM and personal goals. I need to try and choose a vertical and niche (thinking travel vertical and New Zealand adventures micro-niche, think that'd do well or am I thinking wrong here?).
     
  13. Michael

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    Michael

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    Fair enough dude. Gaming is a lot like heroin though. The only difference is you inject the later lol.

    I think you get the idea. Build a travel authority site, with a brandable name, and look for a low comp keyword in the NZ adventure niche. Once you dominate that single keyword, you'll have the power to move up in the niche & vertical.

    Just keep the brand name related to the travel industry, so if you fuck up, you can just try again and not have your efforts wasted.
     
  14. Trankuility

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    Trankuility Breathe the body deep

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    My dad said for me to stay there longer, my stepmom told me to get out, hah. They had a big argument about it. I didn't want to be the cause of any strain on their relationship, so I went. I understood where my stepmom was coming from, so wasn't upset with her. They let me stay there for a year, which I appreciate. It was time for me to go. So I did.

    In regards to doing this since 2014 - it's actually taken me longer than that. I started other websites prior. But anyway, 1 year is possible - though extremely unlikely. I don't even like saying it's possible because it's so unlikely that it's almost bullshit to say "it's possible". I know you're full of fire right now so I don't want to dampen your spirits. You CAN do this. But expect it to take 2-3 years or longer. Once you have the knowledge, the experience, and the money, then you can make shit happen in less than a year. But you're at square 0 right now. The reality is, you will likely fuck up time and time again (this is normal). But if you keep pressing forward with consistency, by year 2 and 3 you'll know what to do, what not to, and you can really start making progress.

    As for staying motivated, I do it because I have to. That was a big part of the reason I chose to live like this. As I mentioned, it's based on my strengths and weaknesses. By putting myself in this position I have no choice but to stay motivated. There is nothing else. This is it. This is life.

    I am fortunate though, to have a job where I'm the first one in, and my boss doesn't get here until after 11am. So I'm able to work on my site all morning (also through the workday when boss isn't around). So even though I'm working sometimes 12 hours a day on the site, I still still get 6+ hours of sleep (which still sucks, haha, but gotta do it).
     
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  15. HeyoDeafMan

    HeyoDeafMan

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    Fair enough, still that sucks. I feel for you man.

    I knew it'd be tough, but 2-3 years is a long ass time haha. It's almost depressing to think that I won't be making anything for that long. Not sure how I'm going to manage that. I've got nothing else, so I will stick it through. Parents might force me to get a job at some point or another if I want to stay, so I'll have to think about that too. Especially since I've got a student loan coming at me (small one, but right now my plan's to defer that).
     
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  16. Ryuzaki

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    Ryuzaki 女性以上のお金 Staff Member

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    In the name of setting responsible expectations, I'd like to point out that I think this is pretty accurate, especially if you're strictly talking about SEO.

    If you're an active marketer, you can pull it off faster, but SEO never really gets any faster. There's a whole lot of liars out there that will tell you otherwise (and they always have something to sell you as well).

    The fastest path is to have a product and to actively push it on every channel you can. Then you're only at the mercy of your own efforts and your product, both of which can be split tested and refined. Then you can bring PPC into the mix. SEO will bring free traffic as a result of your promotions (if you're doing proper On-Page SEO).

    Get ready for the long-haul. It doesn't matter if you make it to full-time now or later. It always requires full-time efforts and usually more, especially after you're actually full-time. Everything requires maintenance and involvement until liquidation.
     
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  17. Nat

    Nat

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    This. This is the way to go.

    Even if you go with a "content" website, I think its best to learn to treat the content as if it were a "real" product. And then hustle. This is also probably one of the fastest ways to SEO traffic as well,...

    All it takes is a quick analytics filter for me to be glad I'm not only focused on SEO, even though I don't have a "real" product... yet..
    [​IMG]
    Don't wait on Google, and whatever you do, create something of value.
     
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  18. Rosca

    Rosca

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    Well I'm going to give it to ya straight man.

    League of Legends will do nothing for your goals in your real life. Instead of getting 300 gold for each kill you get, you should focus primarily on getting a source of income that will help you touch real money. Like the toxic Teemo on the enemy team would say "It's best just to uninstall the game dude."

    My advice is to get a job in a restaurant business. Now it's going to suck, but it will teach you the core basics of how to socialize with other people. And most people who work at the restaurant are just like you and actually want some friends to talk to after work. It's a quick that will help you get a simple level of income.

    Any job, even if it's a crappy temp agency, is a good start to help you get money. Once you get income from these crappy jobs, invest that money and save the rest of it so you don't stay in your mom's basement. Being comfortable in your parent's house is a flaw that stunts the growth of any man.

    You have $800 in the bank. You know how much a gym membership costs? Wayyyyy less than that. So I would suggest investing that saved money into a quick gym membership. Like the restaurant job, it'll force you to go outside and socialize with people.

    Hope this helps man!
     
  19. turbin3

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    turbin3

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    Although at times it may not always seem like it, you sound to be in a fairly good position to make things happen. Friends, extracurricular things, external obligations...all of that stuff can be a major drain on productivity. So while it may seem like a slump right now, it's the perfect time to devote more focus to productivity. Also, in the grand scheme of things, $3.8k in student loan debt is nothing. The average 20-something college grad these days is leaving college with $50-150k+ in student loan debt on a pretty frequent basis. You're doing well.

    I want to offer you every recommendation and insight, especially based off of my own failures, lessons learned, and wasted opportunities, but I'll restrain myself a bit. Walls of text and numerous variables are too often a disservice when a person is at a point of simply needing direction and encouragement. So instead, here's some concise bullet points:

    • The BuSo Digital Strategy Crash Course is BY FAR the single, best digital marketing & digital entrepreneurship guide I've seen yet. Focus on that first, re-reading as necessary, and take LOTS of notes on questions, thoughts, ideas for later.


    When starting, the issue is not the what, when, how...
    the issue is DOING SOMETHING...ANYTHING.

    Be hyper-vigilant about avoiding "shiny object syndrome". There are a million tools, a million techniques, a million gurus. When starting out, you simply need to learn a few fundamentals and then quickly move to incorporating a bit of practice and application. Every. Single. Day. Regularity and consistency is key. Far too many (myself included at times) fail by perpetually planning, perpetually learning at the expense of doing, perpetually jumping from tool to tool looking for "the one". Just pick something and DO IT!



    Being good at things you like and good at business are two entirely different things.

    I see a lot of people go into business for themselves, doing things they enjoy, but lacking and/or failing to learn proper business acumen. Some, amazingly, manage to still succeed. I would say the vast majority, however, do not. The point here is, if entrepreneurship is something you feel is in your future, at some point devote some time to learning the business aspect of things, as opposed to focusing solely on the application.



    Make smart use of free or inexpensive online education resources.

    Example: Udemy, various YouTube channels, etc. Again, gotta watch out for shiny object syndrome. You don't have to learn all the things, just what you need to get moving forward. For example, as a digital marketer, you'll probably, eventually want to learn at least some basic HTML, CSS, and maybe even a little Javascript. Keep in mind, there are many wildly successful digital marketers that don't know or use ANY at all, usually because they specialize so well in other areas and exploit them to wild success (business acumen, risk assessment, negotiating skills, etc.). That being said, the average digital marketer most likely will need to learn some.

    Point is, you may find a few things (try to only focus on a few) you need to learn more about. Check out a few YT channels, maybe take a free online course or two, maybe even spend a few bucks on a well-reviewed course from some provider. The key here is attempting to find a course, or at least a highly organized series of videos that are well structured (structure is the key) and offer a good framework to work from. As a beginner, you don't need perfect. Good is good enough. What often works best is having a structure provided for you, to minimize guesswork, so you can focus on application and experimentation.

    Guess that's not concise at all, but hope it helps. :wink:
     
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  20. Marko

    Marko

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    One word

    Discipline.

    That's the difference between a winner and a loser.
     
  21. Alanwatts33

    Alanwatts33

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    Thanks for starting this thread, it may be for a different section but its related since you need some motivation. I didnt start doing anything online till I made connections, relationships with people who have skills and are good, honest people. You sound like a sincere fellow, thats good, be sincere. But never be serious. Neither you nor I like that kind of crap. Serious people make the world hell.

    That said, im no Tai Lopez or guru, I wont oversell something, except that you need help, you need online friends, you need to be easy to get along with(sounds like it). The serious guys here saying discipline, struggle, goals, blah blah blah, thats all good stuff, but they act like its the only things that breed success. Maybe it is for some people or for them, but what the hell, who wants to grind out and spend every moment trying to control their mind. That literally is hell on earth.

    Do what you do, if your funny, be funny, if your serious, be serious. People wiggle around this existence in so many ways, they have perfected their own form. Some people just don't laugh enough. It should be the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning, get those vibrations going. They will make waves, and people will get the feels, you will attract them.
     
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  22. Ryuzaki

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    Ryuzaki 女性以上のお金 Staff Member

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    ^ It really is Alan Watts! I hope Terrence McKenna and Ram Dass sign up soon.

    Being authentic and genuine are important, especially in networking. I actually wrote about this in the Crash Course, that all money flows through the hands of people, and if you want to put yourself in the middle of that flow, you have to interact with actual people. Sadly people get into internet marketing because they think it means they won't have to leave the house. Everything about money happens because you're providing some kind of value to another human being. Even over-priced guru programs are offering hope.

    Of course, there's no wiggle room here to redefine success on a business forum. We're talking about money and having lots of it, enough to buy yourself freedom of action, time, and a feeling of security for yourself, and the ability to ease the life of others around you.

    Then again, we're all just tubes... digestive tracts with eyes and a brain to better seek out things to push through our tubes! (That's my favorite Alan Watts thought!)
     
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  23. Alanwatts33

    Alanwatts33

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    Don't forget Krishna!
    That's what I liked most about him, he could be straight to the point or completely vague like "The universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever"
     
  24. Charles Floate

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    Charles Floate The Artist Formerly Known as God of SEO

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    It may not be your decision to go into internet marketing, but these can easily be swapped for any other entrepreneurial industry too.

    1) Grind your knowledge to the best it can be. (The crash course is the best free IM course on earth right now)
    2) Execute it to the top of your abilities, examples:
    - Ryan Stewart (Webris) spent 30 hours a week guest posting on every SEO publication he could, to gain massive exposure and clients for his agency.. After spending 6 months with his head in blogs and running elaborate, cost efficient tests.
    - Rohit Palit (Indian, 18 year old affiliate) spent 30 hours a week writing super intricate (and honest) hosting reviews on his blog and then guest posting to link build to them - Built a $10k/Mo, white hat site by age 18.

    And so on...

    3) Expand with JVs, VAs and automation.

    Always continue your learning, never stop expanding and eventually make it so you work reduced hours every few months until you're a fulltime nomad with a hot af GF..
    [​IMG]

    GGWP.