I Don't like internet marketing

Discussion in 'Water Cooler' started by animalstyle, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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    I'm a 29 year old man who has been having the emotional swings of a 14 year old girl all year.

    I've been failing and falling on my face all year and realized today that I just don't like IM. I think I only like the idea of what it brings:

    - location independence
    - no boss
    - no mandatory hours of slave work

    I want out, but have no fucking clue what to do.
     
  2. coredev

    coredev

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    I have a crystal ball. I looked into it for you and saw this:

    [​IMG]

    If that's not enough motivation for you to stop whining and get to work - then maybe you should put your application in there and call it a life.

    Very few people have success their first time. Took me 5 failed businesses to learn my lesson.

    How many times did you fail?
     
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  3. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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    It would be a big pay raise.
     
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  4. CCarter

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    CCarter If they cease to believe in u, do u even exist? Staff Member

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    IM, internet marketing, is simply marketing online. If you don't want to be a marketer you are going to have a hell of a time being within the IM world.

    The problem is a lot of people get into this for the wrong reason. They either think they'll get rich quick or make cash fast and move on. Then they concentrate on the lowest common denominator SEO, Google traffic, and Adsense to generate money. Both standalone are not business models, they are mediums within their respective interests, but they both are still the lowest common denominator.

    With SEO, paid traffic or viral traffic or traffic leaks are all faster and more impactful in the shorter time period. With Adsense, direct CPA or direct deals with player in the industry will make you more money than a simple click - as you experienced making $20k+ a month with a direct deal.

    But on both sides of the they require more work, extra care, and dealing with more cogs.

    You can see the fault by doing an exercise to simply switch the words "SEO" or "IM" to something like "Radio advertisement/marketing" and you'll see the problem were the world has blurred the lines and people are confused about what they really want in life.

    Do you want to be in radio and radio advertisement your whole life? Not most likely if you just want to run a business and use "radio" as a medium to generate traffic. Is there fun in "radio marketing analytics" for you?

    Do you want to create content to be consumed for radio (for people who write content for their websites properties), probably not if you don't have a voice for radio, hate talking, or conducting radio interviews or owning a radio station. Are you starting to see the problem?

    If you aren't a radio person, why are you trying to do anything within radio? There are faster ways to make money and you'll be happier in the long run.

    The internet is a medium. If you want to run a business that operates in the online realm, that's fine. You can have ALL of those 3 options you want without having to master "radio optimization". You can use radio to advertise your business, use TV to market your brand, use the internet to connect with audiences. It doesn't matter as long as you don't try to focus in on something you really have no interest in.

    You have to ask yourself, do you want to run a business, yes or no? Then go from there.

    If no and that doesn't fulfill you what do you want to do? Do that.

    @Apex found out early on (threads: [Journal] The warrior's path) that creating and making video games is more fulfilling than trying to create some radio content for his radio station where he really probably didn't even want to own a radio station (website) in the first place. Now he's doing something he can do for hours and days at a time without it feeling like it is work or having it exhausting him. Even in the worse days to come he'll be happier doing what he is doing now versus trying to force himself into running a radio station.
     
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  5. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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    @CCarter what you're saying makes sense. I tried to look for traffic leak opportunities yesterday but I have zero connection to the subject matter or community. I am pushing hard into something I don't care for in order to make money and I'm turn have started to hate it.

    I'm at a point right now where all I can see is negativity in everything - even things I've been drawn to for years and years.
     
  6. eliquid

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    eliquid SERPWoo.com

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  7. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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  8. Ryuzaki

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    Ryuzaki 女性以上のお金 Staff Member

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    I recall like 3 years ago telling you in some fashion that I wasn't a fan of your main project due to the limited scope and the fact that it all hinged on that one monetization method. This isn't an "I told you so," just that there were obvious potential problems. It was going really good when it did, and now it's going really bad, relatively, not objectively.

    But the one problematic (and rewarding when working) monetization method was yanked from you, and you solved the problem of scope. You're in a good spot to have some real control over stability and growth, based on our combined thoughts in our private discussions. But... there's all this baggage now.

    That's the issue, I think. You're comparing Then to Now and now is looking grim.

    I used to do this thing where I'd have two projects going, but only work on one at a time. So if the main one started to piss me off, I could turn my attention to the secondary one. And at least both were aging. Is that something to consider? Is there a 2nd project you could work on that's a topic you are passionate about that can still earn tons of cash eventually?

    Because the sourness of the first project is going to remain until time has passed or the site turns around (usually with the passage of time and/or traffic leaks). And if the project is that damn sour that you're over here talm'bout "I hate the internet" then maybe you need to let that bitch simmer on the back burner on a 1 for a while and start stewing up a different pot on a 5 on the front burner for a while.

    I mean... you can plow through the hard times, or you can let them pass while you diversify yo bonds as per Wu-Tang Financial, or you could even just sell the site and be done with it forever. Maybe you need a tabula rasa.

    You may appreciate having that site around though in three years when you're balling out of control and need another one to toss cash at for a quick flip later.

    I want to be clear though: I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just tossing out thinking-points. It's your world, playa. You're not stuck with this project. It's not the end-all-be-all.

    I recall you saying money isn't an issue in your life, so there's really no need to stress about this site.

    As the Four Noble Truths teach us, suffering is an illusion that can be ceased by ridding yourself of attachment. And you're definitely attached to this project, when really you could brush it away like it's nothing and never think of it again. Or you could pwn it and make it your bish.

    But there needs to be a fundamental alteration in the way that you associate yourself with this project. It's got you by the balls, when really you have your hand up it's bottom like a ventriloquist and you're squeezing your own balls.

    Each project has a pivotal moment:
    • Knowing when to persist
    • Knowing when to quit (or let it simmer)
    I don't know which is right, but I think you're at that moment.
     
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  9. built

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    built

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    I've been through these thoughts before, but for me my mindset changed when I decided to try and provide value to the internet rather than trying to just do seo/traffic leak.

    A big part for me was being able to be creative, I love creating infographics and stuff. So when I chose a niche where people don't care about these things I grew tired of it because I was just doing seo to try and rank shit

    edit: I'd also like to add that I'm probably the king of "emotional swings" and have made some stupid decisions listening to my emotions rather than focusing on my goals.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2017
  10. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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    I think you're right on @Ryuzaki, it's time to focus on something else for a while. I need to detach from this project for now, even thinking of it in this moment I can feel deep down that it will build back up with nothing more than time, but I am far too impatient and emotional about it - it instantly starts to eat at me.

    @built I actually think about your history as I go through these moments and appreciate your help here man.

    I think the thing that I've missed is having a unique angle that is underserved or filling a gap in the market that I truly believe in. Anything new for me must have that as a driving force or I'll be right back were I am now.
     
  11. Steve Brownlie

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    Steve Brownlie Building Links

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    The "Return of Saturn" man...

    But in all seriousness that is an age where you do reflect on where you want to be/what your plan is going forward.

    Our 20s are for learning and figuring stuff out, then as we move into our 30's we start having to put stuff into serious action or... just end up going nowhere and doing the 'normal thing'.

    So in that way I think it's a good thing you're having feelings of frustration and taking the time to think about it. As @CCarter pointed out there are a lot of 'bad reasons' to be in the IM 'world' and building a site you hate is definitely one of them.

    On the other hand if you build a business you're passionate about, then doing the marketing for it becomes great fun and lets you really be creative. We've been doing some interesting client work in the influencer marketing space and we're launching a new product/taking that out of 'private beta' into a mainstream offering this year. It's a real business product that my team and I love so doing the marketing for it is definitely fun. If I was selling sneakers, which I couldn't care less about, I'd have 100 excuses not to get around to everything today, and definitely wouldn't be typing this having just finished work at 2am :wink:.
     
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  12. Tucky

    Tucky

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    That right there is why a lot of peeps fail, they start a venture in something they think could be profitable but have zero interest in. You need to find projects in niches you care about. Once you find something you love, find a way to make money from it. That way you love your job and find it easier to inspire yourself.
     
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  13. Encrypted

    Encrypted

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    This is KEY and i think everyone should always have a second project / a plan B.

    I'm a 20 years old guy who's just lucky to have had access to the internet at a very young age and exposed to money making opportunities (Blogging).

    Yes blogging is paying the bills but is this something i'ld want to do for the rest of my life? Is this something that will help me make the most impact in life? I don't think so.

    Don't get me wrong , i love blogging and the freedom it brings but i hate the fact that to a large extent , success relies heavily on one traffic source (Google / SEO) and 3 years hardwork can be wiped out by a single update. I mean , you can get from top to ground Zero overnight.

    Yes , you can do traffic leaks and paid ads but we all know there's nothing like constant SEO traffic.

    For now , i'm focusing on getting my Bsc. in Compt Sci (will be done by 2019) , building my coding skills and making connections. I'm doing this alongside blogging and trying to save as much as possible (I save over 70% everymonth). Blogging is my plan A while Coding is my Plan B.

    By 2019 i'ld evaluate myself and make a decision on the path to follow.

    The key here is having a plan B , especially something you're passionate about.
     
  14. CCarter

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    CCarter If they cease to believe in u, do u even exist? Staff Member

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    Constant referral traffic would beat out SEO traffic all day. You can target it more and it can come in faster (overnight a lot of times) and for a longer time. SEO can be turned off by a click of a switch by the decision of one entity, very difficult to turn off 1,000 different websites sending you 10, 100, or a 1,000 visitors a day.

    It all comes down to what you are good at - if you aren't good at SEO, then you will not get great results with SEO. If you aren't good at getting referral links (literally the same type of link building you would do for SEO) and referral traffic - then you'll be constantly relying on the few options you've chosen to have available too you.

    You can't expand and know fully what is possible if you keep doing only what you know and only currently works for you - tomorrow someone can turn off your light switch - that's not a sustainable business. The only way to expand is by getting out of your comfort zone.

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Andrewkar

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    Andrewkar ...

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    @animalstyle here is my advice, and it comes from personal experience, maybe you will want to give it a go. Go and work for Mcdonalds flipping burgers for two weeks full time, I don't know 50-60h/week. Or even better go to job where you have to sweat and breath dust for at least ten hours a day, or any other physically exhausting job (working long hours 5-6 days a week). It worked for me like a miracle pill, after two weeks of doing this kind of job I don't have any doubts in regards to how I want to make my living. But maybe this is just me, maybe you are cut out for this kind of jobs, who knows and nothing wrong with this. But if you are anything like me in regards to earning money, then you should be "healed" rather quickly and back in your internet bus asap.
     
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  16. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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    First off I want to say thank you to everyone in here. I owe it to you all to give you where I am at:

    I've finally broken down and come skidding to a stop.

    Basically I struggle with depression. I have for a long time, maybe I am wired for it, whatever its in me. This week I hit an all time low. I've been heading in such a poisonous direction for so long, it all finally skidded to a stop. Shit is bad in my head, a tiny argument at home turned into me smashing my phone and glasses to pieces.

    The last couple days have just been a big period of reflection for me. Reflecting on my priorities, reflecting on my choices, and trying to make sense of it all. I don't have all the answers, but a couple things have become clear.

    I am going to immediately stop working on my authority site. For many reasons, but pointing to what @Ryuzaki said above, its just the most unhealthy thing for me right now. Too much history, watching the downward spiral is rough on me and so on. I've been building this ONLY for the money, zero passion - not good and a probably the main source of my unhappiness. I am dealing with an frozen funds issue, and will probably put an hour a month in just to keep the pulse on for the long established community there, but otherwise I am taking this out of my mental space for the time being.

    I am putting away the self pressure to earn a shitload of money and exit. If there was one main driving force behind my actions and choices for the last 1-2 years, its been this. A combination of reading the millionaire fastlane, watching videos all over the net, listening to others and similar basically put the idea that this is what I HAD to do in order to be happy/successful etc. But it was always applying someone else's vision to my life. While it might be valid for someone else, I've solidly proved that this is a BAD path for me. I am sure I could self medicate myself into a zombie and spend the next 3 years grinding away and make something impressive happen, but what would be left on the other side?

    Its finally time I get honest with myself and realize that being happy and playful and having fun while I work on something I believe in will take me much further, and I'll enjoy the ride.

    I am going to earn a living through my client work. I have the luxury of having a single client that I do SEO, paid traffic, ecomm marketing & more for. I am super grateful to have this opportunity and I am excited to push into some new territory here. I literally get to wake up do things I like decently well, learn, and get paid all at the same time. It doesn't satisfy my core value of being entrepreneurial because its an hourly gig. That being said, the hourly rate is good enough that 2-3 hours per weekday earns me a very comfortable living and gives me the chance to kill it for someone I respect. Win-win.

    I am only going to pursue things I love. Since my financial needs are covered, its time I do things for the right reasons for me. I don't know what this looks like to be honest. I might end up streaming video games, or playing music, or writing guides, or doing youtube videos. All I know is whatever I do, it will be because I love it and for no other reason. I want to get happy an play again. I want to do things that even if they could earn an income, they don't. I need to do things that make my mind tick.

    Despite being depressed, I consider myself a happy person. When I am running at full speed, I have the capacity to get a load of stuff done very quickly. I do so in a lighthearted manner that I think is very positive. I like to think I am good at the things I go after, I learn fast.

    I have the entrepreneurial itch, I want to build my own thing. I know it because that's always where my mind goes when I run into an issue or dream. Building websites is a big part of that, and it will probably come back full circle, but I am not starting with the medium this time - I am starting with the passion.

    Immediately stopping, I feel the momentum in my thoughts. The patterns and places my ideas go is insane. I can't have an idea without first thinking about how I could make money off it and nothing else. Its super poisonous and I need to change this.

    In addition to getting my work priorities straight and letting go of the insane direction I've been heading, I am going for a natural path to working through depression: http://www.doctoroz.com/article/andrew-weils-4-week-plan-happiness

    If anyone has gone through depression before and has any advice as to how to deal, I'd really appreciate any insight. I am not resistant to any ideas.
     
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  17. Prentzz

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    Prentzz

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    Someone is going to hate me for saying this, but depression is relatively simple to manage unless you are genuinely suffering from a severe chemical imbalance in the brain, in which case you need to go see a specialist and get therapy and/or medication.

    Give this a watch first:


    I've dealt with depression since I was around 9-10 years old and I only discovered that video a couple weeks back but it lines up closely with my own experience.

    The biggest overall impact on my depression is exercise. If you're depressed you need to go and exercise every single day. Go run for 20-30 minutes, lift weights or do some bodyweight exercises.

    Second biggest impact would be having friends and family around me. Get out and laugh. Life is short, go enjoy it.

    Third biggest impact for me was the food that I eat. I eat a very loose atkins diet now just because I find it the most enjoyable. At the very least, cut out sugar as close to 100% as possible, eat a wider range of vegetables and limit your caffeine intake.

    Finally, try getting some sleep. I can survive on 4-hours per night but if I'm having a bad period of depression I'll increase that to 8-hours. Be careful not to oversleep, 7-8 hours is probably best.

    I agree that having some sort of 'enjoyable' work is great, but work is work to an extent. There's plenty of Youtube guys and video game streamers who despise what they are doing now because once it goes from hobby to work there's added pressure and reliance for income.

    Go take a week off or something.
     
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  18. built

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    built

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    This is what I've realized. I thought oh because I'm not enjoying it, then I must not be passionate about it, when in fact building a business will require that "boring work".
     
  19. Tao

    Tao

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    I have also struggled with depression since my teens (not being fully aware of that it was depression making me feel that way until around only 10 years ago!).

    I do agree that depression can be easy to manage through better diet, sleep, exercise etc, but most depressives lack the energy and drive to even contemplate doing this. It's much easier to slouch on the sofa all day watching endless YouTube videos compared to exercising, even for just 10 minutes.

    I hang around in the Reddit depression subreddit a bit and try to offer people advice based on what I have done to help myself, but there are so many people that are really suffering - it's actually quite depressing just being there! :D No matter how many times you suggest that people just do 1 push up now and 2 tomorrow, building into a habit and work up from there, or go for a walk, join a local club, meet new friends etc - that "normal stuff" for a depressed person is really hard work. For some people, even just getting dressed is too hard to contemplate.

    I do also see a link between Internet Marketing and depression (or entrepreneurship and depression) too - which is often a solitary activity, with highs and lows that come and go with quick regularity. It is no wonder that so many people (myself included) get sucked into the "shiny object syndrome" which could also be seen as a way to get another "hit" as you start to learn something new, see the possibilities of how it could make you rich, only to be burnt out after trying it for less than a week - and hey! Look! A new WSO is available! Maybe it will be this one...

    If you really are depressed then the best advice I can give is to see a Doctor and have it properly diagnosed, get yourself on some sort of treatment and then start to pay attention to your lifestyle and the information in videos such as the one above (which I wholeheartedly agree with) after that. Being depressed clouds your judgement and will stop you from taking any action unless you can get a little help to get started.
     
  20. eliquid

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    eliquid SERPWoo.com

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    Im not going to harp on it, but this is EXACTLY the reason I created the other thread at https://www.buildersociety.com/threads/not-fulfilled-depressed-maybe-you-need-an-alignment.3235/

    I mean, depressed is in the title.

    And no, this is not a "I told you so" post, even though it might come off as it ( sorry, Im an INTJ, so I know it will sound like it.. .but trust me it's not )

    I know you said doing it my way really didn't work out for you, but hopefully you can see how your depression lead you to the thread and wanting to explore it. You should really do the exercise a few times as a whole even though you said you have already. Keep doing it if you can until it becomes crystal clear to you IF you have to.

    I'm not saying your depression is caused solely by not being aligned with values and priorities and missions statements, etc, but it can be a large reason along with diet, exercise, etc which are all mentioned above. Personally, I find I need these things to keep me "in check" with what I want to accomplish.

    I went through depression, many many times. It's how I first came up with values and such over at my stale forgotten blog at leanversiting.com. It's the reason I made the post here. It's the reason I learned about my personality and researched it a ton.

    I'm not saying you don't know who you are and have to do it, but its alarming the things I learned about myself I kinda already knew, but this shined the light on more.. made more clear. It made me stop and finally focus. I went on and made a manifesto, which I didn't talk about in the other post yet... it's like the commandments in the Bible in how to live your life based on values. It makes it really easy now how to focus my life and make sure Im doing the things that make me happy

    http://www.openculture.com/2015/03/leo-tolstoys-17-rules-of-life.html - this is a manifesto by Leo Tolstoy. Some of it reads like goals, but if you really look at it and comprehend it, he wrote out rules for his life and beliefs. Some of which are based on values if you really look deep into it. I pretty much did the same thing and so are others. Do you need to do it? No, but just make sure you give it thought.

    The only advice I can give you is, follow what you have now decided to do in stopping certain tasks, not focusing on money ( which seemed to be a big focus in some of your recent posts ), and taking it slow.
    • Exercise - I hate it personally, but do it... do it for just for the "different" activity it gives your brain and the endorphins. It will help take your mind off things for a while.

    • Food intake - You might need to evaluate your health

    • Take a week to do nothing - Yeah I really mean it. A whole 7 days not online or on the cellphone or iPad. It's gonna be hard, but your brain will thank you. Do only offline things

    • Im an INTJ so I dont like friends or family around me. I recharge alone. How do you recharge?

    • Get sleep. I try to sleep for 7-10 hours, but its always interrupted sleep. I wake up 20 times a night it seems. Is this you too? If so, find a way to try to get a weeks worth of good sleep if possible. Im using ear plug, an eye mask, and some sleeping pills ( OTC ) at night along with eating a little fat and honey before bed. Also no caffeine after 1PM.

    • You need a plan that is well thought out and custom for you. This plan would be goals and activities and bucket list and career stuff. You say your personal life is amazing, but it's rare ( not saying impossible, but rare ) that someone has everything in their life amazing and perfect ( truly ) and then just 1 funk in their career. Depression will impact your whole life, not just 1 area. Make sure you know what's really going on. If anything, also be honest and if your personal life is not really amazing, take note of that.

      My personal life isn't amazing. Im not afraid or ashamed to say it. I know there are things that can be improved from my relationship with my family to the things I want in my bucket list. At least I know the problem and working on fixing them. I'm not going to be like other fake people ( we all know them ) who say their relationship with their spouse and my goals are "SO FUCKING AMAZING AND PERFECT AND I HAVE THE BEST INSTAGRAM LIFE EVAH". Life can be hard, things can be difficult, people don't always agree, sometimes you aren't where you want to be in everything...

    • If you are on Facebook or Instagram, or anything where you are watching people have more than you, get off of it. Not saying you are, but if you are looking at FB and Instagram, or watching shows and videos of people driving Lambos, throwing cash at strip clubs, popping bottles, jet skiing at the beach all day, flying in LearJets, etc... it will only depress you more and have you thinking about money. Cut it off if you are. Take down any screensavers and pics on your wall if they deal with "success" and "money". It will only remind you of what you don't have and what you think you need. I use to follow Dan Bilzerian until I realized I was just sabotaging myself, so I cut him and anything else that was similar out of my life.

    Reach out if you need any guidance while on this journey.
     
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  21. turbin3

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    turbin3

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    Exercise, diet, sleep...those are all great. Yes, they can make a physical improvement in health. There's something people are missing, though, that @Tao mentioned. Namely, motivation and drive. Take exercise, for example. If a person approaches this with a generally negative and defeatist mindset, it's basically just adding unneeded stress to their lives. Stuff like:
    • "Man these weights are so heavy and my muscles hurt so much!"
    • "Ugh I hate these 'healthy' foods!"
    • "I hate going to bed early!"
    Here's the thing. When a person is depressed, at least in the context of what's being discussed here, it's basically a matter of finding one's self in a position of sub-optimal self-perception. In essence, you find yourself in a place, situation, or point in time where your subconscious has lost confidence in and can no longer believe in the direction you're going or the circumstances you find yourself in. I say subconscious specifically, because when we find ourselves in this position, often we can't even quite put into words how we're feeling or why, though we know something is definitely wrong.

    Doing some hammer curls and eating some broccoli is not going to do much if anything to substantially improve that. At least, it won't until you're able to actually learn to enjoy those things. I can't tell you how many people I've met in the gym, that are otherwise happy people, but that actually get depressed going to the gym. Often the reason why is because they haven't been able to reach a mental state of understanding their deficiencies and loving the challenge of attacking them until they're strengths. In the gym, for example, it's written all over their facial expressions. They lift, and it looks like they're about to cry. I lift, and it looks like I'm about to MURDER, because I'll be damned if that chunk of steel is going to defeat me! That's really the difference.

    What's really needed, in my opinion, is a lot of introspection and effort towards finding the directions and things that you can believe in and start orienting yourself towards.

    In some cases, for some people, maybe they're able to find enjoyment in exercising. If you can find enjoyment in that physical challenge, great! You'll not only be making physical improvements to your health, but more importantly you'll be making psychological improvements as well.

    For others, maybe it's a matter of refocusing elsewhere, like writing. Maybe it's writing your own private journal. Maybe it's writing on your own blog.

    Regardless of the "what", the point is, you want to spend time trying to determine the "why" behind what is making you so unhappy. Once you understand the why, you can start to figure out where to refocus. For example, I know many of us get fed up in "going through the motions" of our typical marketing efforts. Also, I know many of us find great enjoyment and fulfillment in BUILDING things, and creating new experiences for people, so we often revert back to that to refocus.

    So to summarize, focus on figuring out the "why". For example, start asking yourself questions like, "I don't like IM because" (just examples):
    • Why: "I'm an introvert and I hate outreach, but I know I really need to do it."
      • What: Maybe think about outsourcing it, or refocusing on something that doesn't require it.
      • What: Think about why you dislike it.
        • Can you imagine some examples where you could find enjoyment in it, such as outreach to help someone in need or provide something of significant value that improves someone's life?
        • If you could do some of those things, could you see yourself actually starting to enjoy it a bit more?
        • If the answer is yes, maybe you don't actually hate all outreach, maybe it's just certain types or certain parts of the process that you dislike. If that's the case, start figuring out how to attack those or bypass them.
    • Why: "I dread the unknown and churn of trying to build organic traffic."
      • What: Maybe refocus on something that will work better with social, referral, email
        • Maybe it's the same site but focused on a different area, different user demographic
        • Maybe it's an entirely different site, that will allow you to focus on the things you would enjoy more
    • Why: "I hate building and managing websites, and am really inefficient at it."
      • What: Are there only parts of the build/management process you dislike, or all of it?
        • Consider outsourcing parts of it if possible
        • Consider a different platform or different site components that will allow you to eliminate the need to do those things you dislike
    Just a few examples but, hopefully you can see where I'm going with all of that. Your subconscious knows something wrong. The next step is to think about it and try to put into words exactly what's wrong and why, so you can start attacking the problem.
     
  22. CCarter

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    CCarter If they cease to believe in u, do u even exist? Staff Member

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    Stress Versus Depression

    In my time on this earth I've gone through both - and they are drastically different.

    I don't think @animalstyle you are struggling with depression - it seems to me you are struggling with stress and are doing something you would really rather not do. Having emotional rollercoasters is a sign of stress.

    Stress is an over-abundance of emotion/energy. Stress is a result of doing some activity or being in a situation you don't like. It creates a ton of negative emotions that WILL manifest themselves physically if you aren't careful - cancer, stomach aches, Acid Reflux - you accidentally do something that causes a serious injury to yourself because you weren't paying attention - it WILL manifest physically if you don't identify it. It's your body's way of telling you - GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE SITUATION.

    The #1 way to get over stress is to identify what's causing the stress and remove it from your life.

    The thing about stress is though you are hardly ever able to be stressed AND depressed at the same time.

    Depression is a lack of desire, emotion, or energy. It's interesting because depression mostly happens in the 1st world due to the abundance 1st world countries have. People in the 3rd world are too busy trying to survive - which can be stressful, to have time to be depressed.

    Why do you think all these housewives are half drunk by noon? They have very little to do all day, and with nothing to do depression will happen. Lack of activity, or even being in a situation that seems like nothing is really happening.

    You could be working on your business have a lot of activity going on but you aren't stressed out. However you look at the balance sheets and get depressed real quickly since you feel you are in a dead-end scenario or have plateaued. Or you can get stressed out because you need an extra $20K to make payroll this month and have to figure out a way for that to come through.

    So first identify if you are stressed or depressed - it's rarely both at the same time.

    2nd with depression - you don't have obtainable goals or something you are doing to improve yourself. The reason exercise works is it circulates blood - removing toxins that can create the "down in the dumps" feeling you have. But long-term depression is due to a lack of purpose or ambition to do something more. Usually it happens to people that are too comfortable in life - basically all your needs are met, maybe not your wants, but you don't see any real "change in life" making an extra $10K a month or don't see the benefit of being able to run an extra mile an hour.

    You have to set higher goals in life - and work on obtaining those goals. However if you set goals that you see as impossible then yeah, you'll be binge watching Netflix for days and weeks at a time.

    Back when the modern luxuries we know of didn't exist people were too busy surviving or going for their goals to get depressed. There was so much activity to do to even run a household. But now with modern luxuries like dishwashers, washing machines, lawnmowers, A/C, cars, cell phones - things have become way easier and now people find themselves with too much time on their hands, and what happens when you have too much time you start worrying about your feelings, looking back at regrets, envying people in Facebook or Instagram, and thinking too much - you eventually come across what is a recent phenomenon - boredom. And that leads to depression.

    Trust me if you are stressed out it's difficult to get bored - but boredom results into thinking about "what your purpose is?" and the next train of thought is "Well, even if I have a purpose I'm not doing anything towards it so I'm useless". It's a vicious cycle that you have to snap out of.

    You need to find a purpose or activity in life that gives you a reason to get up every morning - cause if you are laying around in bed and don't know what to do with today, you are #1 too comfortable and #2 have achieved all your goals (if you even set them) and need to set higher and newer goals.

    One of my recent goals is to be able to run an extra 5 miles within an hour on-top of the amount I'm running now. Everyday I get up and know how much closer I am to that goal and know what work I need to do towards that goal. There are rest days I need to eat certain foods and do certain stretches; so when I do get back in the gym later on I'll be able to go my max and beat the last record I held. It's a small goal for me that is personal. It's me improving myself - not really for my long term health, that's a byproduct, but it gives me a challenge to go up against every day.

    When I achieve this goal I'll go move on to a weight lifting goal I want to achieve. After that it'll be another goal I want to achieve physically. That's why I love going to the gym whenever I can - THAT is how you turn something that's boring into something that brings you energy - creating challenges for yourself.

    When you are stressed you are going up against challenges that you don't want to - remove them from your life. If that means you don't like your wife and kids - get rid of them. Yeah it sounds bad but - hey if they are grinding you down so you end up less happy well it's your life and you only have one.

    If your job is stressing you out cause there are better opportunities you wish you could take - get rid of the job.

    In @animalstyle's situation he doesn't like Internet Marketing or at least the rollercoaster that comes with running your own website asset - so get rid of it.

    And if you have true depression - ask yourself what challenge have you gone up against recently and attempted to defeat? Most likely it's none; and that's why you're bored and are susceptible to stages of depression.

    Challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday. It's what Miyamoto Musashi meant when stating:

    "Today is victory over yourself of yesterday. Tomorrow is victory over lesser men."​
     
    janus, Apex, ssura and 5 others like this.
  23. animalstyle

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    animalstyle

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    Wow again, thank you so much guys.

    So many angles, so many things to consider. A few things I can say:
    - I exercise regularly and have been the entire year. I am not overweight and actually am probably at one of the best points physically in my life.
    - I sleep 8-10 a night.
    - I eat pretty healthy, not perfect but I do focus on what's coming into my body. (Side note, I did the master cleanse for 5 days not long ago and felt amazing after)

    I am going to try adding some omega 3's, multivitamins and natural vitamin d to my life and see if that helps.

    Awesome video. I didn't know what anti-ruminating meant, but thats dead-on me. I overthink constantly and even convinced myself that it's a good thing because I always 'think things through really well'.

    This seems like more the truth than anything. From what I read, depression is a lack of overall motivation. I mean I am not the most motivated, but I've actually accomplished a ton over the past 6 months, its just all been a bad direction.
     
  24. Potatoe

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    Potatoe

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    Hey I haven't read everything here super closely so apologies if it's been brought up already, just wanted to quickly toss into the convo that you could eat perfect, exercise every day, sleep plenty, etc etc and still have an imbalance that causes depression. It sounds like that might not be the case with you, so that's good, but just for the sake of anyone else reading down the road. There's folks who do everything right but still need a little extra support (Not that anyone here said otherwise, just thought it was worth mentioning.)
     
    Tao and Concept like this.
  25. Andrewkar

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    Andrewkar ...

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    Different angle about liking, and don't liking things. This reminds me MJ Demarco's:

     
    built likes this.