Guy Cries to Google in his Robots.txt File (Link-Bait & Branding Campaign)

Discussion in 'Marketing' started by Ryuzaki, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. Ryuzaki

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    Ryuzaki 女性以上のお金 Staff Member

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    Source: https://www.seroundtable.com/seo-message-google-robots-txt-23551.html

    [​IMG]

    Before we get started on this, I suggest you play the official thread theme in the background as you read this nonsense:




    This guy Rishi Lakhani made some decent link bait. I'll grant him that, except I don't think links to your robots.txt helps you too much, which is all he's getting, because that's where this clusterf@$# occurs.

    Rishi wrote his life story and copy-pasta'd illustrations in ASCII format. Here's the summary:

    • When I was little I studied hard but I was "naughty" like Bart Simpson.
    • I played video games on my computer growing up. Usually I was bored before they loaded cuz muh computer.
    • I work so hard that I even work on my computer when I poo in the loo.
    • Google is so amazing and futuristic!
    • I manipulate your rankings so I can buy designer watches like this Gucci.
    • Now I make great money but your updates drive me nuts. Can you stop it?
    • Should I quit this job?
    No joke. He makes poop jokes and likens SEO to playing Russian Roulette, acts like we should feel sorry for him while he brags about his hobby of buying designer watches. He even goes as far as to pretend to not know Bart Simpson's name.

    I'm not even sure what the point of this file is, which is why it's a perfect example of BAIT. It's confusing and conflicted and has purposefully dense and ignorant content to make you want to reply and talk about it.

    What can we learn? Some people think self-deprecation is a good branding strategy and it might be if it's just for the links. It's a solid link-bait campaign but run it in a way that the links end up being worthless unless links to your robots.txt still help out with domain-wide metrics. This guy will find out soon.

    He seeded his robots.txt file on Twitter and let it grow organically. He's retweeting it now it seems but still... It's all about exposure and he's got 13.7K followers. Pull a decent stunt in front of enough people and it's going to spread.

    Here is the file in full. It may not show up great here but you can copy and paste it into a text file and drag it wider.

    Code:
    #DEAR GOOGLE, SINCE THIS IS THE ONLY TIME YOU COME TO ME, LET ME TALK TO YOU.
    #
    #I STUDIED REALLY HARD WHEN IN SCHOOL... OK, MAYBE I DIDNT. I WAS QUITE A NAUGHTY BOY - REMEMBER THAT GUY IN THE SIMPSONS, YOU KNOW THE ONE THAT IS IN THE
    #OPENING CREDITS THAT WRITES SILLY THINGS ON THE BLACKBOARD AS PUNISHMENT?
    #
    #YEAH I WAS A BIT LIKE THAT
    #     ________________________________
    #    |.==============================,|
    #    ||  I WILL NOT TALK IN CLASS.   ||
    #    ||  I WILL NOT TALK IN CLASS.   ||
    #    ||  I WILL NOT TALK IN CLASS.   ||
    #    ||  I .----.OT T,               ||
    #    ||   / ><   \  /                ||
    #    ||  |        |/\                ||
    #    ||   \______//\/                ||
    #    ||   _(____)/ /                 ||
    #    ||__/ ,_ _  _/__________________||
    #    '===\___\_) |===================='
    #         |______|
    #         |  ||  |
    #         |__||__|
    #         (__)(__)
    #
    #WELL NEVERMIND I KIND OF FLITTED AROUND DECIDING WHAT I WANTED TO DO WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR ME TO GET A JOB.
    #I WAS RAISED IN EAST AFRICA AND DIDNT ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO USE ONE OF THESE EXCEPT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES
    #MINE HAD A TAPE DECK WHERE YOU WOULD LOAD THE CASSETTE IN AND IT WOULD TAKE AGES TO LOAD,
    #
    #AND NORMALLY BY THE TIME THE GAME LOADED I WOULD GET BORED.
    #
    #THIS IS WHAT MY COMPUTER LOOKED LIKE. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM NOT A MAC, I WAS VERY PC.
    #
    #                     .----.
    #         .---------. | == |
    #         |.-"""""-.| |----|
    #         ||       || | == |
    #         ||       || |----|
    #         |'-.....-'| |::::|
    #         `"")---(""` |___.|
    #        /:::::::::::\" _  "
    #       /:::=======:::\`\`\
    #       `"""""""""""""`  '-'
    #
    #I STARTED LEARNING BY MYSELF. I LIKE SCIENCE FICTION AND FOUND LOADS ON COOL FREE STORIES
    #THATS HOW I LEARNT TO USE THE INTERNETS
    #I AM QUITE CLEVER NOW
    #I AM NOT LIKE THAT EAST AFRICAN NON-IT GUY ANY MORE. THIS IS WHAT I AM LIKE
    #
    #                 ___
    #                /` ,-\      _ ___
    #                |_c  '>    |-|   |._
    #         ___     )_ _/     | |   |  |
    #        [___]   /  `\____  | |   |_,'
    #        |  ^|  /  \_____/) |-|___|
    #        |   | /    /   _:::_))_(___
    #        |   |/`-._/_   |___________|
    #        `-;_|\_____ `\ ||"""""""""||
    #          | `######|_|_||         ||
    #          \ ._  _,'{~-_}|         ||
    #          _)   (   {-__}|         ||
    #         /______`\ |_,__)         ||
    #
    #
    #OK I AM NOT ALWAYS IN THE LOO WHEN WORKING BUT AM ALWAYS WORKING WHEN I AM EVEN IN THE LOO
    #
    #ANYWAY, I DIGRESS. I REALLY LIKE YOUR SEARCH ENGINE, ITS LIKE SOMETHING FROM THE FUTURE!
    #
    #
    #    __...____________________          ,
    #   `(\ [ ===NCC-1700===--|__|) ___..--"_`--.._____
    #     `"""""""""""""""""| |""` [_""_-___________"_/
    #                       | |   /..../`'-._.-'`
    #                   ____| |__/::..'_
    #                  |\ ".`"` '_____//\
    #                  `"'-.   """""  \\/
    #                       `""""""""""`#
    #
    #
    #IT GAVE ME A CAREER THAT I REALLY ENJOY. I LOVE BEING AN SEO
    #IT'S THE MOST FAVOURITE THING I LIKE DOING, EXCEPT MAYBE BUYING DESIGNER WATCHES. I LIKE DESIGNER WATCHES
    #        ___
    #       /___\
    #      |/   \|
    #      ||_|_||
    #      [_____]
    #      |:___:|
    #      [_____]
    #      |: G :|
    #      |: U :|
    #      |: C :|
    #      |: C :|
    #      |: I :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:___:|
    #      (=___=)
    #     /.'12 '.\
    #    //       \\
    #   ||   \     ||
    #   ||9   .   3||)
    #   ||   /     ||
    #    \\       //
    #     \'._6_.'/
    #      (=___=)
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |:   :|
    #      |: o :|
    #      |: o :|
    #      |: o :|
    #      |: o :|
    #      ;'   ';
    #       \' '/
    #        \./
    #
    #
    #ACTUALLY WORKING AS AN SEO GIVES ME THE CHANCE TO MAKE SOME REAL MONEY!
    #
    #
    #  ______________________________________________________________________
    # |.============[_F_E_D_E_R_A_L___R_E_S_E_R_V_E___N_O_T_E_]=============.|
    # ||%&%&%&%_    _        _ _ _   _ _  _ _ _     _       _    _  %&%&%&%&||
    # ||%&.-.&/||_||_ | ||\||||_| \ (_ ||\||_(_  /\|_ |\|V||_|)|/ |\ %&.-.&&||
    # ||&// |\ || ||_ \_/| ||||_|_/ ,_)|||||_,_) \/|  ||| ||_|\|\_|| &// |\%||
    # ||| | | |%               ,-----,-'____'-,-----,               %| | | |||
    # ||| | | |&% """"""""""  [    .-;"`___ `";-.    ]             &%| | | |||
    # ||&\===//                `).'' .'`_.- `. '.'.(`  A 76355942 J  \\===/&||
    # ||&%'-'%/1                // .' /`     \    \\                  \%'-'%||
    # ||%&%&%/`   d8888b       // /   \  _  _;,    \\      .-"""-.  1 `&%&%%||
    # ||&%&%&    8P |) Yb     ;; (     > a  a| \    ;;    //A`Y A\\    &%&%&||
    # ||&%&%|    8b |) d8     || (    ,\   \ |  )   ||    ||.-'-.||    |%&%&||
    # ||%&%&|     Y8888P      ||  '--'/`  -- /-'    ||    \\_/~\_//    |&%&%||
    # ||%&%&|                 ||     |\`-.__/       ||     '-...-'     |&%&%||
    # ||%%%%|                 ||    /` |._ .|-.     ||                 |%&%&||
    # ||%&%&|  A 76355942 J  /;\ _.'   \  } \  '-.  /;\                |%&%&||
    # ||&%.-;               (,  '.      \  } `\   \'  ,)   ,.,.,.,.,   ;-.%&||
    # ||%( | ) 1  """""""   _( \  ;...---------.;.; / )_ ```""""""" 1 ( | )%||
    # ||&%'-'==================\`------------------`/=================='-'%&||
    # ||%&JGS&%&%&%&%%&%&&&%&%%&)O N E  D O L L A R(%&%&%&%&%&%&%%&%&&&%&%%&||
    # '""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""`
    #
    #BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM
    #        .------------------------.
    #        |       PSYCHIATRIC      |
    #        |         HELP  5¢       |
    #        |________________________|
    #        ||     .-"""--.         ||
    #        ||    /        \.-.     ||
    #        ||   |     ._,     \    ||
    #        ||   \_/`-'   '-.,_/    ||
    #        ||   (_   (' _)') \     ||
    #        ||   /|           |\    ||
    #        ||  | \     __   / |    ||
    #        ||   \_).,_____,/}/     ||
    #      __||____;_--'___'/ (      ||
    #     |\ ||   (__,\\    \_/------||
    #     ||\||______________________||
    #     ||||                        |
    #     ||||       THE DOCTOR       |
    #     \|||         IS [IN]   _____|
    #      \||                  (______)
    #      `|___________________//||\\
    #                          //=||=\\
    #
    #
    #
    #YOU MAKE SO MANY SILLY CHANGES TO YOUR ALGO THAT IT DRIVES ME NUTS. THESE DAYS I DONT EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO CHILL OUT
    #I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR VIDEOGAMES
    #
    #
    #      __________________________
    #     |OFFo oON                  |
    #     | .----------------------. |
    #     | |  .----------------.  | |
    #     | |  |                |  | |
    #     | |))|                |  | |
    #     | |  |                |  | |
    #     | |  |                |  | |
    #     | |  |                |  | |
    #     | |  |                |  | |
    #     | |  |                |  | |
    #     | |  '----------------'  | |
    #     | |__GAME BOY____________/ |
    #     |          ________        |
    #     |    .    (Nintendo)       |
    #     |  _| |_   """"""""   .-.  |
    #     |-[_   _]-       .-. (   ) |
    #     |   |_|         (   ) '-'  |
    #     |    '           '-'   A   |
    #     |                 B        |
    #     |          ___   ___       |
    #     |         (___) (___)  ,., |
    #     |        select start ;:;: |
    #     |                    ,;:;' /
    #     |                   ,:;:'.'
    #     '-----------------------`
    #
    #
    #
    #BEFORE, SEO WAS THE GAME OF REALLY SKILLED PEOPLE, YOU KNOW LIKE PROFESSIONAL POKER PLAYERS
    #YOU HAD TO KNOW THE GAME, KNOW WHEN TO RAISE, AND WHEN TO BLUFF
    #
    #         _________   _________   _________   __________
    #        /         \ /         \ /         \ /          \
    #        |A        | |A        | |A        | |A         |
    #        |    ,    | |   _ _   | |    _    | |          |
    #        |   / \   | |  / ^ \  | |   (_)   | |    /\    |
    #        |  (_ _)  | |  \   /  | |  (_)_)  | |   <  >   |
    #        |   /_\   | |   \ /   | |   /_\   | |    \/    |
    #        |         | |    `    | |         | |          |
    #        |        A| |        A| |        A| |         A|
    #        \_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \__________/
    #
    #
    #BUT NOW IT FEELS LIKE THAT THAT ISNT ENOUGH
    #YOU MAKE SO MANY CHANGES
    #
    #MY HEAD HURTS JUST TRYING TO KEEP UP
    #
    #I MEAN WTF IS UP WITH ALL THOSE CHANGES?
    #NOW IT FEELS LIKE SEO IS LIKE RUSSIAN ROULETTE
    #
    #                    .-.
    #             __    _| '-----------._____________.-'\
    #            `-.`\,'  .======.      \ =====  ======= \==.
    #           __.'     ||  (___|- = = |----------------|  |
    #          /     ,_  ||   ___| - - -|________________/  |
    #         /     / /  ||  (___| = = =|________________)=='
    #         |    (_/    '======'_-- -/
    #        /                 (_II== /
    #       |              .---.  ___/
    #      /  ::.    .--. /\ /  |(
    #      | .::::. /    \\ \(  //
    #    / .:::::: |     '-----'
    #    ; :::::::: |
    #    | :::::::: |
    #    |::::::::: |
    #    /::::::::: |
    #   '-----------'
    #
    #MAYBE I SHOULD FIND ANOTHER JOB?
    #OR IS THERE METHOD TO YOUR RECENT MADNESS?
    #
    #
    #PLEASE HALP.
    #SINCERELY,
    #RISHI LAKHANI
    #
    #
    #P.S
    #I WILL FINISH THIS STORY ONE DAY, BUT FOR THE MOMENT BYE BYE
    #         _._      |     |
    #       .'   '.    | BYE |
    #      / //\\\ \   |_____|
    #     ( ( -\- ) )     |
    #      '-\_=_/-'      /)
    #     .-'\   /'-.    (|/
    #    /    '-'    \  / /
    #    | \__   __/_/\/ /|
    #    | |\     / \   /
    #    \  \     \  '-'
    #     `\/\     ;
    #      |/|\    |
    #      |       |
    #      |       |
    #      |       |
    #      |_______|
    #       |  |  |
    #        \ | /
    #        /=|=\
    #       (_/T\_)
    #
    #P.P.S.
    #ALL THE ascii WORK HERE IS ATTRIBUTED TO Joan G. Stark, also known by jgs, (SHE was a prolific ASCII artist in the late 90s)
    User-agent: *
    Disallow: /wp-admin/
    Allow: /wp-admin/admin-ajax.php
     
  2. ryandiscord

    ryandiscord

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2016
    Messages:
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    Kind of weak message to send as a digital agency. Wayfair does it better in their robot.txt. They turned their's into a recruitment opportunity.

    Code:
    #
    #   ______     __                 __           ____
    #  / ____/__  / /_   ____  __  __/ /_   ____  / __/
    # / / __/ _ \/ __/  / __ \/ / / / __/  / __ \/ /_ 
    #/ /_/ /  __/ /_   / /_/ / /_/ / /_   / /_/ / __/   
    #\_____\___/\__/   \____/\__,_/\__/   \____/_/ 
    #   / /_  ___  ________     __  ______  __  __
    #  / __ \/ _ \/ ___/ _ \   / / / / __ \/ / / /
    # / / / /  __/ /  /  __/  / /_/ / /_/ / /_/ /
    #/_/ /_/\___/_/   \___/   \__, /\____/\__,_/
    #                       _/____/____                __   _     __
    #   ____ ___  ___  ____/ /___/ / (_)___  ____ _   / /__(_)___/ /____
    #  / __ `__ \/ _ \/ __  / __  / / / __ \/ __ `/  / //_/ / __  / ___/
    # / / / / / /  __/ /_/ / /_/ / / / / / / /_/ /  / ,< / / /_/ (__  ) _ _
    #/_/ /_/ /_/\___/\__,_/\__,_/_/_/_/ /_/\__, /  /_/|_/_/\__,_/____(_|_|_)
    #                                     /____/                           
    # If you're here because you're a curious programmer, engineer, or SEO,
    # make sure to check out our job board for open positions on our team!
    # http://www.wayfair.com/careers
    #
    #
     
    EsR, blackcanary, jstover77 and 3 others like this.